It might sound strange, but every time someone asks me if this is my first baby, I always feel a little funny saying yes.
But I say yes anyway, because it makes the most sense for a short conversation, and without having to explain the stories behind each of my previous pregnancies. But really this little guy is my fourth pregnancy, and the first little one that we get to meet.
Chris and I have been married for 6 years and while we really wanted to have kids, nothing seemed to work out. Our first pregnancy we lost at 6 weeks. Our second pregnancy we lost to an ectopic pregnancy that almost took my life. And our third one, we lost to another ectopic pregnancy in the Fall of 2016. Pregnancy became one disappointment after another and even a positive pregnancy test seemed like nothing to celebrate since it could end in another loss.
We still had hope, even though we weren’t sure what God had in store for us. And while we didn’t let those losses stop our lives from moving on, it wasn’t easy. It was really hard for me to see other people getting pregnant easily or getting another invitation for a baby shower. I was tempted to not show up at church sometimes, because seeing babies and families was just too hard.
I wanted to share all of this with you, because I know from the outside it looks like just another happy maternity shoot. And it definitely is. We were so happy to capture this moment in our lives, because we never imagined we’d ever reach the third trimester of pregnancy (thanks, especially to our photographer, Shannon at Shay Photography). But these pictures also capture all the pain we’ve been through together and all of the hard work and prayer it took for us to become pregnant with a healthy, developing baby.
My IVF Story
After our third loss at the end of 2016, our doctor shared with us that IVF might be our only option. I had already lost one tube to emergency surgery for my first ectopic pregnancy and now my only tube left was damaged from a second ectopic pregnancy.
We really did not want to do IVF. I couldn’t imagine going through weeks and weeks of injections, especially if there was only a 40% of chance of it even working. I was worried about what it would do to my hormones and how it would affect my emotions. We had a long list of concerns but it ended up being the exact path that God had for us.
In June of 2017 we began the IVF process and Chris learned how to do all the injections so I didn’t have to do them myself. We did injections in the morning before I left for work and injections at night after dinner. We also had to go to the clinic almost every morning for blood work and ultrasounds.
But all of it was worth it and by July 17, we had a little embryo ready to be transferred. Only 10 days after, I got a positive pregnancy test, and sure enough an ultrasound a few weeks later showed a strong, healthy heartbeat.
Where I’ve Been
You may have noticed that I’ve been MIA. Well this little baby made keeping up with the blog really hard. First trimester morning sickness was no joke. Except that morning sickness hit me at night, bedtime became 7pm, and I could barely keep anything down. I mostly ate chicken nuggets and bacon… and Wendy’s french fries! Lol. I didn’t stop throwing up until 17 weeks, and I’ve been on Diclegis most of the pregnancy (this was the only thing that seemed to help). But the rest of the pregnancy has gone much smoother and I’ve been eager to share with you all about our good news. I hope to be on the blog more often and get back to my once weekly posts, but I know it might be hard once the little guy makes his appearance.
Where We Are Now
It’s hard to believe that I’ve reached 32 weeks. We’re almost there! Every single ultrasound has felt like such a milestone to us, from the first one at 6 weeks where we saw his heartbeat, to our 20 week scan where we found out our little one was a boy.
And it’s becoming more real too! We put together his stroller this weekend and we’re installing the car seat soon. We’re starting to feel like actual parents! We do have a name picked out for the little guy but we’re keeping it a secret until he’s born, so stay tuned. We’ve had his name picked out for years and we were just waiting for God to send this little boy our way!
Deciding to go down the IVF path is such a personal decision and if you have any questions, please feel free to email me personally (firstname.lastname@example.org). Even though it was a hard commitment to make, we’re so thankful we did it.